Precious Gift

I miss him.
The way he remind me on the herb drink over and over again while playng cards with his family in his house, the way he puts food into my mouth like i'm his pet, the way he concern about the bruises on my leg by counting how many of them, the way he complaining how torturing it was to wake up without me by his side...
I was touched by all these little lovely moments that made my heart smile quitely inside.
The way he cut open the dim sum for me when he found out the one he's eating is too hot. I have to admit that i really impressed with his way of expressing his love, in every little things he do. No flower no fine dining no expensive gifts, but we just enjoy dancing bare foot on the grass with the handphone do the singing, sitting on the bench to feel the sweet breeze, walked thriough whole megamall without buying anything but happily chatting along the way without feeling tired...
It just too beautiful to remember those scent that as romantic as roses while the heart melted knowing someone is seriously taking you in his life.
I still remember the moment i was terrified realising my mineral water had been open when it was just few minutes newly bought. Can't resist to give him a kiss by knowing it was him untighten the cap for me.
Thank God for sending me such a precious gift. He's the best i ever received. Thanks for the bless.

rubbish FEELINGs

I had been pulling up myself from sinking quite well. The only tears falling moments were those times i'm sitting alone doing nothing. The worst, the moments driving to work and driving back home... I said i'm now living in heaven and hell at the same time, as i wonder am i getting nuts with those unnecessary stupid feelings spinning in my head.
I'm trying so hard.
When the sun taken down by the night each day, the darkness is heating my heart to evaporate all those hidden wounds. I could smell pain, I could taste how the lost is twisting over and over...
It just too heavy to carry on with these unwanted sadness. nobody reminds me about him but all the memories just appear naturally. While i was falling asleep talking over the phone i would still spit out our 'allien language' that we used to speak to each other. All my memories are with him, until when i have to bear the emptiness that he gave me?
I always thought i'm enjoying the liberated mind as i finally made up my mind to sweep all the love away. I thought i'd let them go. But why are they still deposit in some part of me?
I'm freak out each time realising might bump into him anytime at the place we used to go. Updown updown updown updown my heart beats uncontrollable.
I'm tired.
Keeping myself fully occupied until the eye lids gaining their weight to close the eyes, because the moments my mind is free it just fall into the hole filled with emptiness. I'm scared to be alone. I'm nervous to find any related objects or places or stories that can make me remember him. I'm running away from the feelings i dont even have to courage to face it.
Perhaps, keeping myself busy is one of the method that might could heal. I guess it is. I guess it's just the matter of time. I guess I'm ought to be glad that HE is there to fill my life with wonderful stories and hopes, who is there to hold me when i fall.
I guess i'm feeling better now.
I guess I will be alright.

Time will heal the broken heart, I believed.