Getting bored

It might be dangerous to listen too much to the feelings, making things emotional and hence complicated. But here i wish to sort things out, before the probelm get worse.

I want to find out what's the reason behind it and since when the signs and symptoms appearred. Yet it still remain clueless.. as part of it might be my denial on what is happening and afraid to find out the cruel fact that is still embedded somewhere.

I refuse to find any flaw or fault that allow me to let go such a beautiful dream. I'm too afraid to lost him just because of my stupid feelings of bored. Nevertheless my heart is still filled with doubt "What is happenning And How long i can go along with this?"

I wonder this is just a transition period that we are going through when our relationship is proceeding to the next level, which involves expectation and responsibility more than having fun while getting excited understanding each other.

And I dont want to fall into that trap!

When he expect to have simple dinner together everyday instead of a Romantic Date or a Special Date once in a while; When he expect we can spend more time at home watching video rather than having movie in the cinema... Yet i still adore how he quitely put my favorite cookie into the basket while we go shopping, touched by how he never hesitate to take the trouble to wash my car, how he carefully pack my things before we leave the house,...

It's an attempt to escape, i guess. It's not that i don't love him anymore but it's me myself dont want to engage in a mature relationship but expecting more fun and enjoy more exposure to new things than cuddle at home all the time. Freedom, Flexibility, Anticipation...